Serial Learning: The Most Respectable Developer Addiction

Why constant learning can feel productive but quietly erode our ability to think.

November 17, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer

Death by a Thousand Pings

Every ping wants a piece of you. Eventually, there’s nothing left to share. By the time I finished my fifth meeting of the day, I’d spent five and a half hours “collaborating” and exactly zero minutes doing what I was hired to do. I’m a developer, technically. But most days I feel more like an antenna picking up whatever signal Teams, or Jira or Outlook decides to emit. ...

November 5, 2025 · 3 min · The Cynical Developer

How Much Control Do Developers Really Have?

Big companies love boxes. Policies, platforms, roadmaps. Fine. The trick is noticing the room inside the box. This is a map of what developers and teams can actually control in that room, what can be bent without a permission slip, and what can only be influenced over time. It’s not theory. It’s the small, repeatable moves that make your day less miserable and your system less fragile. The Three Buckets of Control I think about control in three rough categories. ...

October 1, 2025 · 6 min · The Cynical Developer

What If the Internet Wasn’t Free?

Most of what we use online feels free. Search engines, maps, email, video. All the things we reach for without thinking. They’re not really free of course. They’re funded by advertising and by siphoning off our attention and our data. You already know the line: if you’re not paying, you’re the product. In a world of user pays - what would you pay for? But what if that model never existed. What if every service had a price tag. No ads, no data harvesting, no “free tier”. Would you pay for YouTube. Would you pay for it and Spotify and cloud storage and messaging apps. At some point you’d run out of money and you’d have to choose. ...

August 19, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer

The Two Faces of a Failing Culture

I’ve worked in places where the fire never stops, and in places where the fire went out years ago. Neither is healthy. One will burn you out. The other will quietly let you rust. These are two faces of the same problem: a culture that’s failing its people and its purpose. It’s not just the productivity of the company the suffers. It’s the toll on the people inside the company, and how those patterns get built in. ...

August 15, 2025 · 8 min · The Cynical Developer

The Career Ceiling No One Talks About: Senior Dev, Stuck Forever

“Congrats, You’ve Made It” You made it. You’re a Senior Developer now. You’ve got the title, the responsibility, the trust. You’re the person they call when things go sideways and production is on fire, or a junior is stuck, or no ones reading the error logs. You don’t even need a manager anymore. You’re “self-managing,” which is shorthand for doing two people’s jobs while politely declining meetings. You’re experienced, stable, and invaluable. And this… is as far as it goes. There’s no ceremony. No next step. No map. Just a long, slow plateau. ...

August 7, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer

Your Order Number Is Everyone’s Order Number

Yes, This really happened. And yes, I was at Taco Bell — against my better judgment. When Life throws you a UX lesson. I just wanted a quick dinner. Instead, I got a masterclass in how to build a system so broken it loops back around to being educational. It all started when the self-checkout asked me to enter my own order number. What?? Next to the kiosk was a rack for those little buzzers that vibrate when your food is ready. Perfect I’ll just enter the number…except there were none. Just an empty holder, like a relic from a time when this system maybe tried to work. ...

July 15, 2025 · 3 min · The Cynical Developer

How I Accidentally Set Fire to My Netlify Bandwidth Quota

Incident Summary It started innocently enough. I published a dry little rant about ticket-driven development, fully expecting a quiet life of single-digit pageviews and maybe a pity share from an old colleague. Then a friend dropped the link on Hacker News without telling me. Someone else threw it up on Reddit. And before I could even finish my coffee, bots, link preview crawlers, and over 10,000 developers showed up to see what all the fuss was about. ...

July 1, 2025 · 3 min · The Cynical Developer

Agile That Doesn’t Suck Pt 2/2

Let’s assume the worst has already happened. Your team is burnt out. The process is bloated. “Agile” is a word people flinch at. The retros are performative, the standups are robotic, and the burndown chart might as well be a mood ring. Good news: you’re not alone. Better news: you don’t have to stay stuck. Step One: Stop Pretending The first fix is brutally simple—stop doing Agile theater. Scrum isn’t working for your team? Stop doing Scrum. The world will not end. The Product Owner will survive. Nobody gets a medal for following the process if the software is garbage and the team hates their job. ...

June 27, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer

Agile Was Never Your Problem Pt 1/2

Agile isn’t your problem. Agile is dead. Long live Agile. Every few years, someone revives the corpse, dresses it up in a new three-letter acronym, and wheels it around the office like it’s going to save your team. Again. This time it’s “SAFe.” Last time it was “Spotify Model.” Before that, it was Scrum with capital-S and a two-day certification course. You sit through the same slides. Someone renames standup to “daily sync.” Jira gets a new plugin. Leadership announces this will bring “clarity and velocity.” ...

June 26, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer