Agile That Doesn’t Suck Pt 2/2

Let’s assume the worst has already happened. Your team is burnt out. The process is bloated. “Agile” is a word people flinch at. The retros are performative, the standups are robotic, and the burndown chart might as well be a mood ring. Good news: you’re not alone. Better news: you don’t have to stay stuck. Step One: Stop Pretending The first fix is brutally simple—stop doing Agile theater. Scrum isn’t working for your team? Stop doing Scrum. The world will not end. The Product Owner will survive. Nobody gets a medal for following the process if the software is garbage and the team hates their job. ...

June 27, 2025 · 4 min · The Cynical Developer

Ticket-Driven Development: The Fastest Way to Go Nowhere

Let me guess how your day started. You opened your laptop, fired up the sprint board, and grabbed the next ticket in the “Ready” column. Maybe it was a small feature. Maybe a bug. Either way, you didn’t write it, you didn’t scope it, and you definitely didn’t question it. Because that’s not how it works here. We are Ticket-Driven Developers now. Thinking is out. Throughput is in. Tickets are moving. Morale is not. ...

June 21, 2025 · 3 min · The Cynical Developer